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Discovering unworthiness and how it worked in me has had a deep effect on my life. I have gained a deeper understanding of myself and my struggles, what was in the way that blocked me from growing and enjoying life. I know it now. I have given myself permission to grow, and what happend? I also discovered the power of masterminding, it is fantastic when we understand and support each other and want one another to succeed! At last I made these discoveries; I am just thinking back to the times when I struggled, it feels like a missed opportunity. What I learned from it is to be and live in the present. Tomorrow is gonna be tomorrow and with trust I believe tomorrow holds the best for us. And it is going to be the best, if I do my best today. I am so grateful for being part of this experience! I feel I have the power and the tools to use my power. I am taking it with me on my hero’s journey!
From the negative feelings unworthiness works the deepest in me. I have been going round and round in circles and unworthiness kept me at the same place, blocked me from allowing myself to develop freely. It was revolutionary for me to learn that sitting down and making a choice, a decision, what’s missing. I did not understand how humility comes into it. I was thinking about it but could not get it. So I dedicated a sit to unworthiness and humility. It was moving. Unworthiness prevented me from fully engaging with the change, and from fully dedicating myself to it. I could not grab hold of the opportunity. I was not focussed. And being the observer, noticing the process and what is actually going on, it takes humility to stop going round in circles, sit down and make a choice. Humility towards myself and the Universe to stop and make a decision and be focussed on it. And if I am humble to do this, I value myself with this. If I value myself others will value me as well! And there is a sense of humility and respect towards the Universe and others as well! I have lifted myself out of the unworthiness I have become worthy!! Wow. I understand it now!
I watched the week 22 webinar again and I got so much more out of it. There and then I became THE observer. I looked at myself and my life from the outside, completely from the outside. What am I doing here? Where I am? “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” This quotation came at the perfect time. So we are all meant to be special, to have something special and to share it, give it away, helping others with it. Being in the state of the observer, seeing myself from the outside there and then I understood what my gift was and where I need to head. Adding to all this, the thought of meeting me in the silence was challenging. Meeting me. To claim my gift. To take posession of it and to let it shine bright. This is a challenge at the moment. I have been arranging a 2 day getaway and excited to meet me. I am so grateful that I got here.
Somehow Scroll 6 was in my mind this week. Today I will be master of my emotions. We’ve been reading it for a week now, and its message seem to have made its way deeper into my brain and made me realise how important it is to wake up and go through a day being in the right mood. Whatever mood I am in, my surroundings mirror it back to me. I get what I give. Very similarly with the positive mental diet. I am quite emotional. It was painful to realise that all the havok that I ever experienced actually started from my ‘inner havok’. The principle seems to be so obvious, and I have learned and practiced it with thoughts, but the emotions! Thoughts and emotions go together to manifest what we want, but we have to choose the right ones! I’ve been practicing this week and it’s been quite interesting, quite a discovery for me (although Mark has explained it a hundred+ times). And it’s not good enough to feel it during the sits, my whole way of being throughout the day counts. So I keep stopping for a moment during the day when I catch something, for example anger, and I decide what could I do with it. It’s amazing what I have become aware of! Today I will be master of my emotions.
I have decided to do a spring body clense (which I have never done) leaving out a few things from my diet replacing them with better options. The start was hard. Discipline is my virtue for this week and I got to recognise it in myself a lot of times. Being aware of the ability to practice discipline in myself has given me a kind of strength, I know I can do it and other things as well. I went back to the gym for the first time after ten weeks. Recognising and practising kindness has become a part of me, I am developing my ability to harness negative feelings for my own good. Og’s message I live this day as if it is my last just enhances the enthusiasm in me. I am replacing the unwanted things to beneficial ones physically and emotionally as well. I am also realising that I rather need to manage and organise myself instead of organising the things around me. It also stayed with me what Einstein said about miracle. It’s wonderful. I have started to be conscious of miracles around me and it fills me up with curiousity every day to notice more of it. It has brought a ‘sweetness’ into my life. 🙂