Experience of week 14

I could not go to work today with my car because the battery went flat. This experience put a mirror in front of me to see where I am now. I am flat at the moment just like my car’s battery. Needs recharging just like me. The Christmas period got me off the track; and I recognised myself in the experience Davene shared with us starting to neglect the exercises when things start to go well. I have done a lot of work since to catch up and I am doing well, I can already see the path back in. I need to recharge myself or I will stay flat. And being flat is terrible. Boring, grey and static. No development just aimless existence at the same level. I want to get back and fly!

October Sky. The young Homer’s persistence is exemplary, he kept going following his dream; he and his friends (Maser Mind Alliance) were so enthusiastic about it, they put a lot of time, effort and energy into it. Whatever help or material they needed they got it, the Universe delivered it to them. A lot of obstacles got in the way, and it would have been very easy and obvious for him to follow his father becoming a miner. The turning point was his conversation with his teacher …”you just gotta listen inside” so he listened inside and however his dream was something quite unusual, almost like a path hardly walked before, he chose his dream, took the courage to dare and followed it through with faith. The results were generous: he got to do in all his life what he was passionate about!

This movie really touched me; I feel like I was in the mine during the past few weeks by neglecting the drill and loosing touch with my inner core. But I am on the way now to the sky!

 

Advertisements

Experience of week 13

I had some catching up to do with the exercises and watched a missed webinar as well; last week’s one when you did the 50 min exercise. I did it as well. I did it conscientiously and the result blew my mind. I was shocked in a good way. Self suggestion has a huge power. I was standing in front of the mirror 2 am in the morning (I was recovering from night shifts) repeating my one sentence dmp bringing in enthusiasm with arm gestures and changing the tone of my voice. It did not feel right. So I sat down with a small mirror that showed only my eyes (that’s what I had) and continued with my dmp in a calmer manner. 15-20 on in the exercise I felt connected, safe and held, I felt immense support and it was so touching I broke down in tears. Recovering from crying I continued with the exercise looking at myself, my eyes in the mirror repeating that one sentence, feeling, putting myself in the situation of my one sentence achieved. 10 min later I started crying again in happyness, my dmp became so close to me, almost real. It has been an incredible experience for me and I decided to do it two times a week. I could not keep up with this promise because of the Christmas celebrations (or I just let the old blue print take over again?) and now I feel I have fallen back into living life in the ‘old way’, which I don’t like. I miss being connected to the Universe and to the whole group. There is no turning back now, I am ‘infected’ and one of my services is to ‘dig deep!’ I literaturely feel like giving birth to a new me. The labour is hard!

Experience of week 12

Knowlwdge does not apply itself. Very true. During the past weeks doing the exercises but mainly through the sits I had a taste of that power that Haanel writes about and we all have. It was like a new way of living, things changed and the world was different. I have power. It was like as if I opened the door and the light shone through with extreme brightness and I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know if I could I step in? And if I did step in then what’s next? So I shut the door and fell back into my old world by neglecting the sits and the other exercises. And it does not feel right. I don’t want to be in this old world. I am intrigued and fascinated to learn, to grow up to the new world and be part of it. It is a skill to use our power and to feel and work together with the Universe and I have dropped this skill. I have made a mistake and it made me realise the difference between the two ways of living! Me who has always been the quietest mouse in the corner learning to develop and flourish the power within. That’s going to be a transformation!

Experience of week 11

Persistance is a big thing for me to learn. The explenation of persistance on the webcast cleard up a lot of things for me. Now I understand what I was really doing in the past (‘hanging around’) and why it did not bring anything. Persistance is a series of continuous actions towards the desired goal and together with determination it is power! There is a conscious choice there, whether I take actions or not and together with discipline it is real power! I have at times experienced this power in myself and I have not managed to keep it. I  have read a quote in another blog which says that when we dream something we are usually not ready for them at the time. We need to develop ourselves to be able to ‘handle’ the experience, to be able to live with it. It feels like we need to ‘strech’ ourselves. That’s how I feel, I need to keep working on myself to grow and learn to let my light shine, to ‘grow up’ to the dream that I have dreamed for myself. To be able to serve others I have to be like a fountain: whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy and I have to develop it in myself in a steady way so that nothing can get to it. I haven’t got it yet, but I have started the journey and have felt what’s the fountain like!! Keep focusing on the intention! I persist until I succeed!

“At the time when we recognize our Visions, we are usually not ready for them. We don’t have the ability to handle the big things that we are dreaming. We don’t have the experience or the character for them. God prepares us to receive and work in our visions. “

Experience of week 10

At the beginning of the week I felt I was ‘spinning’, and I was not sure who I really was, I sort of lost that ‘self’ that made me me here, on planet Earth and I had a sense of oneness, as if I was sort of ‘universal’. I hope I am making sense. I had such lightness in me which was endless, much more free without ties. Then my few days off ended and I went back to work to the hospital and I got dragged back down to the temptation of judgements and negative feelings – nooooooooo!!!!! But I learned that it depends on me, I saw my surroundings in a much more positive way because I was in a much better place within myself. And I learned that it is a sort of a power that if I have a strong and courageous inner world, then I can make the outer world similarly positive, supportive and courageous!

Scroll 3 contains what I always needed: persistance. I always tended to ‘leave’ things after a while, even though I knew it would be of service to me. Persisting is a big thing for me. I think persisting and being able to focus goes hand in hand with each other. I have a lot to develop in this area. It was, however, so reassuring to read that “Each blow, of itself, may be trifling, and seem of no consequence. Yet from childish swipes the oak will eventually tumble.” To me it means I don’t have to be a ‘superman’ and it’s ok not to get something right immediately. The habit is what really counts, the aim, that I AM heading towards my goal because I AM persistant, and I won’t leave! Another thing comes hand in hand with persisting: “Knowledge will not apply itself. You must make the application.” So this is the ‘contents’, I am persistent by applying the knowledge – doing the exercises. This is a big lesson for me.

Experience of week 9

I feel I made a significant step forward this week in my ability to feel love within me and experience love to others. The sits have been the key for this. Sitting has become one of the cornerstones of the course for me. I discovered a real depth within me and maybe with the universe as well. “Keep the intention focussed” – came the message from someone and it really spoke to me. It feels like I am in a different world during a sit, how can I describe it, there is peace, a sense of trust, safety, warmth, connection naturally. And the feelings of my new me that I imagine as I put down in my dmp – love, confidence, power, being unlimited. The new affirmation really includes and expresses what I want to be – “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.” It takes mental work though to imagine all this and to feel it, but from this week I feel I am more focussed and that’s something I want to maintain! Very important! I sit twice every day and I am making the stranger, my future self an intimate friend. The ‘stranger’ is in me, just it needs nurturing, empowering to come alive and take over from the old blue print. I feel, there is a real power in visualisation and as I learned in the webinar we are creative! So I can’t wait to see the fruits of my creative work!

Experience of week 8

The stimuly – respose theory (am I naming the principle right?) has been a huge discovery for me. Ever since I have become much more conscious of looking for colours everywhere and then attaching the colour with the particular smart goal and imagining the feeling that I would feel when it has manifested. What a turn! I live my life much more positively. In the place where I live the landing and the (long!) stairs are covered with green carpet. It is a relatively big surface but I realised it just this week that I have GREEN colour in front of me all the time! It was my turn this week to clean the place and I hoovered up the landing and the stairs (which is hardly ever done, noone likes to do the stairs) looking at the green carpet imagining the feeling that I would feel when achieved my smart goal attached to the green triangle. By the end of it I got so enthusiastic and almost extatic! I transformed the chore into the most pleasant and driving service to myself and others! This feeling has been so captivating that I look for green and other colours everywhere consciously! I miss the colourful shapes when I forget to put the sheet on the dashboard in my car!

I do feel that I have ‘awaken’ in the sense that I have become more conscious of how the laws connected to each other and work in the universe. It was fascinating to read that the ‘evil’ is the result of us, human thought! So choice is a huge thing for me, exercising choice in a constructive way conveys self respect for me. I am not wasting but valuing myself by developing my inner power and using it to grow in the positive direction!

Love, developing love within has become a central aim for me, that is in my focus during my sits as well. It absolutely fascinates me that the more love I develop, the more I get back from the most unexpected ways!